I think many of us struggle with the idea of initiating change in our lives. We may fantasize it- we dream of living in a certain house in a certain place, maybe a perfect job or walking into a showroom and driving away with a new convertible. Retiring and traveling the world.
As we enact these fantasies in our mind what we are really doing is mustering courage.
Change, regardless of how bad you want it, requires a healthy dose of courage and comes with some baggage called fear. Fear that we won’t make the right decision, that we’ll have buyers remorse or have invested our heart in something that won’t measure up. No one likes disappointment especially when we talked up our ideas to spouses, family or friends.
Change is uncomfortable. It forces you to “ show up for yourself”. It requires action, not procrastination which is exactly what holds us back. When you step into the unknown parts of your life, that’s where the opportunity is for the real magic to happen. You grow by challenge, not complacency. Anticipation will cause butterflies in your stomach, kind of like when you first fell in love with someone. Then your doubts set in. Maybe I ‘ m confusing anticipation with trepidation. Maybe those butterflies are warning me about something. Learning to tap into your intuition is a real gift. It helps you push thorough the fears that want to hold you back. How do you know if your intuition is right? This takes some trust. Reflect on all the times in your life you were scared and did it anyway. That first date, an engagement proposal, taking a job in another state, choosing to have a child . What percentage of those big decisions turned out bad? And I mean a real mistake, because we may not hit 100% all the time but that’s ok. We put in the effort. . If your percentage of bad mistakes was low, you can trust that your intuition was helping to both push and guide you. I’ve had unexpected incidents , beyond my control or choosing happen in my life that, changed my personal direction a few times. I’ve also initiated change by “ seeing” an opportunity. I prefer the drivers seat when it comes to change as opposed to just letting life happen. We can’t control everything in our lives but we can point ourselves consciously in a direction, and be open to what that lets into our life. Take deep breath. Feel the fear. Let go and Do it anyway.
Join in the conversation
What is some personal growth you experienced by making a “scary change” in your life? Was it positive? Did it redirect you or lead you to something greater than you imagined?
Mel, it’s refreshing to read your comments about change and fear, what essentially I think about is the ability to take risks. When I was 27 I read a book entitl d “Risking“ (David Viscott) and it has served me my entire life. I’ve taken huge risks and my life has been richer because of it. Don’t get me wrong, I have typically been mortified to take the risks, as it would be so much easier to go to “safe” route, but I don’t envy people who live safe lives. One of my favorite lines from a James Taylor song (“The secret of life”) is “it’s OK to feel, afraid just don’t let it stand in your way”. I’ve liv…